Max Keiser

Earlier today the nasally former bitcoin pumper, Max Keiser, admitted it’s all been a fraud. Keiser shockingly announced the once popular cryptocurrrency is in fact a 14 year old cut down unlicensed version of Microsofts popular database system SQL jazzed up with the same ancient technology used to protect PlayStation 3 consoles.

Max Keiser went on to admit none of the massive power used to generate this massive fraud has been used in the creation of bitcoin.

They just handed out the made up coins by counting the max CPU strength of each machine connected to the decrepit network infrastructure and doled them out to the highest scoring machines. They then sold the CPU power to Russian forces to play Doom and watch hentai.

Dave Portnoy was unavailable for comment due to rona virus picked up from ladies of the night.

The Winkelvos twins are both unavailable for comment due to hanging themselves.

Peter Schiff was last seen smoking a cigar pumping his fists in the air while chanting gold gold gold gold….

John W.B Rich is said to be considering a buy out of the troubled bitcoin franchise “to pull this one back we’re going to need a supreme pumper.”

The once popular bitcoin currency’s value has been wildly affected by the revelation dropping by over 98%.