Mark Cuban Tesla

Jealous that Elon Musk will be hosting Saturday Night Live May 8th instead of him, Mark Cuban allegedly pushed his Tesla Model X over a cliff. The car then crashed to the rocky bottom in an anti-climactic puff of smoke. While waiting for an Uber to pick him up, he was heard yelling at the sky, “I’M THE MORE CHARMING ONE AND I EVEN OWN A BASKETBALL TEAM!

The car did catch fire and took fire fighters over 14 hours to extinguish and 50,000 gallons of water. Cuban’s Uber driver related to Stonk Media that he spent the entire drive home muttering, “He buys DOGE, I buy DOGE, he tweets gibberish, I tweet gibberish, I’m a Shark for cryin’ out loud, wtf, wtf, wtf!” The unnamed Uber driver claims it was the strangest thing he’d ever seen and at the end of the drive, he heard him on the phone with Jeff Bezos insisting that he let him ride on his rocket ship some time.