Investors shun tanker stocks as massive FCF and ESG shame ensures moral bankruptcy


By CalvinFroedge

Investors are fleeing oil tanker stocks as the revelation of Q1 profits and bullish Q2 guidance actually materializing has investors everywhere running for cover.

One NYC based investor commented “I never imagined oil tankers would actually be producing 20% of their market cap in FCF in a single quarter. I thought it was a ‘funding secured’ type of deal.”

“Making a massive % of 20 year asset carry value over a 90 day period reeks of greed…on top of transporting OIL there’s just no way I can invest in this kind of company”, said another German investor.

Many investors thought they were investing in cash incinerating losers that enabled the Brazil-US avocado toast trade. Upon learning these companies are actually turning a profit, many investors are sickened to know they participated in free market capitalism.

“I feel disgusting”, said one Atlanta based tanker investor. “Just think of all the baby seals that have been clubbed because I invested in Teekay Tankers. Net debt decreased 15% in Q4. I thought it was just accounting fraud. Now people are telling me they might actually pay off 40% between Q1 and Q2? I’m out.”

Q4 earnings of listed tanker companies spiked after it was announced that emperor Trump had sanctioned the evil Chinese tankers. They then sold off on news sanctions had been lifted.

Recently, oil tanker shares had been bid up on news that oil tankers were graciously holding oil to enable cheaper avocado toast deliveries.

“Now that contango is coming in, exporters from Mexico and Brazil will increasingly need to buy oil on the spot market” commented one commodities trader.

“It’s clear that oil tankers JUST want to make money, not improve society. I now recommend you SELL oil tankers in favor of companies actually interested in making the world a better place.”

Investors apparently heeded this sage advice. Oil tanker shares were off 5-10% in Thursday trading, reflecting their abysmal ESG scores.

Source of featured image: U.S. Department of Defense

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