iRobot Launches ‘Lootba’ Robot To Vacuum Up Destroyed Cities

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BEDFORD – Consumer robotics company iRobot, maker of the popular Roomba robotic vacuum cleaner, announced the launch of a new product called “Lootba”, an autonomous robot that will vacuum up looters destroying cities.

iRobot CEO Colin Angle sees unlimited revenue potential with this new product. “The amount of destruction these out of work children with no hope of a future has really given us a huge revenue opportunity. Our modeling shows a steady increase in anarchic behavior through Q1 2029, so we feel we are in a prime position to be the first to market in an emerging category that could be massive.”

The robot is made from a unique polymer developed in partnership with BASF that is resistant to 2x4s and Molotov cocktails. The robot software code is based on the ED-209 Robocop programming. The robot has shown a 99.9% efficacy in vacuuming up only looters, while leaving law abiding citizens out of harm’s way.

iRobot product manager Logan Knownothing stated, “Our alpha testing with rioters in Hong Kong proved the proof of concept and we skipped right past beta testing to full production given the urgency. We want to strike while the iron is hot to take advantage of the worldwide rioting. While we don’t condone the destruction of property, we support the rioters in their noble goal of stealing things in memory of George Floyd.”

Upon the news of the product launch, iRobot stock jumped 572% because people are dumb.



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