Joe Biden France

There is a growing concern amongst some Americans that our newly inaugurated President, Joseph R. Biden is not who we thought he was. And not in the typical ‘sterile façade of humanity’ kind of way that we get from most of our elected officials.

This is much, much more nefarious. There is reason to believe that Biden is in fact working on behalf of the French government, a notoriously imperialistic regime, to siphon opportunities away from the hard-working American people.

Thankfully, one of our most trusted members of congress, Ted Cruz was quick to alert the general public after Biden signed onto the Paris Agreement during his first day in office.

How blessed we are to have a true champion for the blue-collared folks? Clearly we are in dire need of protection if our president is out here signing crazy deals that essentially signing away all of our jobs to Paris AND increasing taxes in the U.S.

Madness! If they want more money so bad, how about they put down the baguette and cigarettes for a second are open up an E-Trade account like the rest of us. A guy in my office’s account is up 220% this year—the opportunity is out there if you want it bad enough!

Back to our hero though—because Ted Cruz is truly a man of the people.

A salt of the earth, lunch pail kind of guy. The only reason he even went to private school his entire life—and proceeded to wed an executive from Goldman Sachs was so that he could fight the system from the inside.

Meanwhile Joe Biden is out here, strutting around all high and mighty, like we don’t know his middle name is Robinette. I jumped a tax bracket just from typing out a pretentious name like that.

As if times weren’t uncertain enough, now I have to start worrying about the world that my future kids are going to be inhabiting.