ASTEROID – Kyle Bass, a noted China bear that incessantly tweets about China like a psychotic ex-girlfriend, claimed redemption today in his five year rampage against communist China.
In a show of victory, Bass triumphantly stated, “I was right that China would fail. From the day I started ranting about China to try to make millions of dollars, I knew this day would come. Sweet victory is mine. All my doubters can kiss my giant forehead.”
In related news, the entire planet Earth was struck by an enormous asteroid and wiped out all of mankind. Kyle Bass was the lone survivor and is now floating through space on an asteroid tweeting about China to absolutely no one.