San Francisco – The worst nightmare a bitcoin or cryptocurrency investor came true last night when their three-year-old son accidently spent all his bitcoin on a Russian Prostitute.
The man we spoke to this afternoon told us he owned ten bitcoins. Bitcoin is currently trading at $9,000/coin so roughly $90,000 was tied up in crypto assets. These were the sole assets of this man. A small fortune. His future retirement.
The man told us he gave his Apple iPad to his three-year-old son this afternoon – to keep him busy while he made himself coffee.
“I was making myself coffee this afternoon then heard a ‘pinging’ sound like my son just purchased something off the internet. I rushed over to my son and saw he somehow got access to the dark web and purchased a high-end Russian prostitute.”
The man was shocked upon belief. His son managed to somehow access the dark web and spend nearly all his bitcoin on some Russian prostitute called “Naughty Natalia”.
“I was on the phone for hours trying to get my purchase redeemed,” the owner of a Russian prostitute said. “It was no luck. I only had three cents left in my bitcoin wallet and some lady called ‘Naughty Natalia’ in route to my home.”
The man was upset with his son at first, but then Naughty Natalia arrived.
“Have you ever heard of love at first sight?” the man asked us. “The moment Naughty Natalia arrived at my door I feel head over heels in love.”
Apparently, this was the best $90,000 this man has ever spent. Sometimes love comes at us in strange ways.