Zero Hedge

Holding his knees to his chin and rocking back and forth, Jeff Snyder, 32, is convinced the economic system is going to explode after reading Zero Hedge.  “I had no idea the economic environment was so fragile,” Jeff stated.  “I can’t believe our own government officials would be doing this to us.”

Zero Hedge is a popular financial website with a libertarian slant and bearish global outlook.  The site has been described as cutting-edge news, rumors and gossip in the financial industry.  Content is created by Tyler Durden, a pseudonym based on the movie Fight Club.

Jeff got his first foray into Zero Hedge through an article titled:

‘If You Feel Like Something Really, Really Bad Is About To Happen, You’re Definitely Not Alone’

“I’ve heard the term ‘Fed’ before.  But I thought that was just the FBI.  Apparently it’s more than that.  I guess the ‘Fed’ is buying up mortgage bonds, whatever those are, and artificially creating another housing bubble.  I’m not really sure what that means but it freaked me out.”

After reading the article Jeff spent the next 40 minutes getting sucked into the Zero Hedge whirlpool.  “I learned about hyperinflation, how fiat currency is worthless and even how some men are getting aroused by their Amazon Alexa.  By the time I was done reading I was shaking with anxiety.”

To cope with his anxiety Jeff wrapped tinfoil over his body and converted his entire bank account of $1,242 dollars into gold.  “All of my disposable income from here on out is going into guns, gold and booze,” Jeff stated.