Man sues Berkshire Hathaway after Warren Buffett sells airlines

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Omaha – Local Omaha, Nebraska man Dave recently filed a lawsuit against Berkshire Hathaway after Warren Buffett sold Berkshire’s airline stocks.  “I tailcoated Buffett into airlines,” Dave, said.  “If I knew Buffett was going to turn around and sell airlines, I would have never bought these stocks.”

Dave, 45, is one of the thousands of people who tailcoated Warren Buffett into airline stocks.  “I went all in on Spirit Airlines (“SAVE”) at $55/share.  I thought I was being smart because the ticker symbol of Spirit is SAVE. I literally thought Spirit was going to get ‘saved’ given the ticker symbol.  I later found out that a ticker symbol has nothing to do with anything.”

Dave said he is down 90% on his Spirt Airline purchase – losing over $500,000 dollars.  “I was looking to retire in a couple years,” Dave said while hanging his head.  “I have no idea how I am going to retire now.  I wish I never heard of this Buffett loser.”

However, all is not lost.  Dave has recently filed a civil lawsuit against Berkshire Hathaway for damages in excess of $5 million. 

“I hired these slimly lawyers who think I have a case,” Dave said smiling.  “I only lost $500,000, but my lawyers said I should file a suit for 10x the amount.  Apparently this Buffett guy has a few bucks of pocket change laying around and this lawsuit is money good.”

Dave’s lawsuit against Berkshire Hathaway has gone viral.  Investment banks on Wall Street have already securitized the $5 million dollar suit and sold synthetic securities to unsuspecting retail investors. “This is a new frontier of fraud and we are balls deep into it,” Goldman IB banker Steve said.

When asked what Dave plans to do with the money he replied, “I plan to buy the United States Oil ETF (“USO”).  USO is backed by the full faith of the U.S. government – hence the name.”

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