NYSE TRADING FLOOR, New York – After a blood-red Monday, the market is seemingly has trended upwards upon the realization that Afghanistan, a nation recently taken over by terror group the Taliban is located in the middle east.

“My boss has been telling us to sell all week, thinking these Taliban guys are gonna 9/11 us again or something.” one anonymous Goldman Sachs Junior Analyst told The Stonk Market

“One of our guys sat down to tell the boss the Taliban are actually in Afghanistan and don’t really pose a threat to America.” he added.

Upon this realization, his boss said “Oh so who gives a shit than? Buy the dip.”