Crypto Miners

By now most people are aware of the great migration taking place in this country. Millions of hippy crypto nerds are fleeing their homes in California and taking up residence in the state of Texas.

While the arrival of these individuals was certainly met with some displeasure, no one could have expected how bad things could really get. On Monday the 15th, the state reached a tipping point as the crypto miners effectively shut down the grid in an attempt to mine for their latest fictional currency “DogeCoin”.

With severe winter weather continuing to sweep across the state, the loss of power could prove deadly for many residents, and elected officials fear an end is not in sight.

Governor Greg Abbott has attempted to make contact with these rogue crypto miners but was met with hostility. Pleas for a resolution were met with a stern response. “We will not stop until we reach the moon”.