Morning Brew The Stonk Market

NEW YORK— Multiple sources have confirmed that The Stonk Market will purchase a majority share in email newsletter startup Morning Brew for $75. The parent company of TSM, Granny Capital Holdings ($HRNY), is expected to make an announcement on Wednesday, October 15 with details.

Neither Alex Lieberman (CEO of Morning Brew) nor Eloise Williams (CEO of TSM, Chairwoman of the Board at Granny Capital Holdings) were available for comment as final proceedings are still underway. However, both leaders have dropped hints in previous interviews that a deal was incipient.

“We’ve come a long way since Austin, Kinsey, and I got the idea for Morning Brew after accidentally pouring ground coffee into our MAXX 900 Platinum Volcano Bong in my dorm room at Michigan State University,” Lieberman said in a September spread with the Harvard Business Review. “But we’re just getting started. We believe we can accelerate growth from the expertise that comes from someone who actually knows what they’re doing.”

Eloise Williams is also on the record with complementary comments. In an August interview with Playboy, the esteemed Senator hinted, “Granny Cap has made a fortune in exploiting the neurotic tendencies of Baby Boomers. However, for the sake of our longevity, we must press forward and explore ways to capture a younger audience’s attention. We’re researching synergies with publications that do cool, hip things like drink vodka out of coffee mugs during the work day. My grandson Toby told me about such a company last week.”

Wall Street is not impressed, citing that The Stonk Market is probably overpaying for the acquisition. The deal is expected to be valued at $75, which is 7.5x of Morning Brew’s fiscal year 2019 EBITDA. Granny Capital Holdings shares are down over 6.9% at market open, and analysts at the Captain Nasdaq Fund have downgraded the stock from “Sell” to the dreaded “Tough Scene” classification.

The Wall Street Journal originally broke this story.