Here are the top FinTwit Accounts you need to follow for the best laughs, analysis and humor.
John W. B. Rich (Wealthy): John W.B. Rich (Wealthy) is the fattest person on Twitter. Rumors are John spends 90% of his disposable income on Wendy’s hamburgers. When John isn’t stuffing his face, the majority of his day is spent pushing small children into large bodies of water and defrauding investors. John is a funny account to follow but beware, you will instantly gain 35 pounds the second you follow John as his obesity is highly contagious. Also check out John’s site where he invests in the worst stocks possible.
Chadford Whitmore VI: Chadford Whitmore VI, better known as ‘The Chiseled Chin’ is a sure follow, but only if you have a net worth over $5 million. If you don’t have a net worth over $5 million, The Chiseled Chin will report you to the poor police. The Chiseled Chin spends the majority of his time ripping on the poors for not being privileged and occasionally morphs into a Karenford and Chadlord. But despite the outward appearance of a near ‘perfect’ creature, rumors are floating around that The Chiseled Chin is actually an overweight, middle aged, balding man who is on his second divorce and rides around in a red convertible trying to pick up chicks half his age.
Jules Paxton: Jules Paxton, also known as the male version of Keira Knightley is a must follow if you love watching a desperate divorced man go on endless rants about his ex-wife who left him. Jules also has a dying hatred for Josh Brown, the portly man who too a PPP loan for his investment fund. Some say the hate for Josh Brown comes from the fact that Josh stole Jules’ wife.
Kenny Lay (Parody): Kenny Lay is a parody account of the late and great Kenneth Lay, the founder, CEO and Chairman of Enron. You can typically find Kenny posting Gifs to the Energy FinTwit (“EFT”) crowd. Kenny also has quite the skill of creating photo-shopped photos that look remarkably real.
INVESTMENT HULK: Investment Hulk describes himself as follows, “HULK FAMILY OFFICE. MACRO-INFLUENCER. AFTER-TAX RETURNS THE ONLY RETURNS MATTER. FREAK GAMMA TRADE MAKE HULK STRONG.” The account posts excellent tweets and lately has been my source for finding the best riot videos around the world.
Mr. Skilling (Parody): Mr. Skilling is one of the best Energy FinTwit accounts out there. Mr. Skilling spends most of his time ripping on overpaid energy executives and MLP investors who think they are investing in a stable 25% ‘dividend’. The interesting part about Mr. Skilling is that many believe this account is actually ran by Jeff Skillings, the former CEO of Enron, from his prison cell.
Mrs. Skilling: Mrs. Skilling is the alter ego of Mr. Skilling and creator of New Bit Friday. Every Friday, Mrs. Skilling morphs into a new personality where they rip on popular characters in the finance world. Many on FinTwit think that Jeff Skilling’s cellmate in prison runs this account.
GuruLeaks: This was one of the first accounts I ever followed on Twitter. The dude just calls out fraudulent “traders” all day with no remorse. Guruleaks was how I originally found Jacob Wohl – dubbed the world’s worst criminal. If you want to follow an account that calls out con artists, GuruLeaks is your man.
Average Coronapocalypse Investor: The profile picture is literally a Steel Reserve so how could you not follow? Plus this dude just rips hard on Ryan Sitton. One time he live Tweeted an entire 6 hour long Ryan Sitton speech – tweeting the term ‘economic waste’ 15,000 times.
Muhammadou bah: Known for calling Eloise Williams ‘mommy’ and John Rich ‘dad’, Muhammadou is a must follow if you want to get spanned into giving your WhatsApp number and conned into sending his poor (dumb) family money.