NASA Engineers Drag Nuts Across Elon Musk’s Face

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By Chadford Whitmore VI

In a stunning display of efficiency from a government agency, NASA engineers developed a unique ventilator system in only 37 days to help overburdened hospitals deal with COVID-19 patients. In an alpha dog show of machismo, NASA engineers then proceeded to drag their nuts directly across Elon Musk’s face. This aggressive tactic draws a new line in the sand between the two adversaries, best known for their competition to be the first to Mars.

NASA engineer Billy Bignuts boasted, “We’ve been really annoyed that SpaceX has been getting all the press lately. We couldn’t think of anything more satisfying than dragging our hairy nut sack straight across his stupid, fat face. Those rent-a-engineers from ITT Technical Institute couldn’t launch a 4th of July bottle rocket out of two-liter Coke bottle, let alone a billion dollar rocket to Mars.”

When asked for comment, SpaceX PR spokesperson Lilly Liesalot stated, “Mr. Musk is unavailable to comment at this time as he is currently fighting other PR fires regarding his fabrications of truth regarding hospital ventilators, powerpacks for California blackouts, a robotaxi network, Tesla profits, Tesla production volume, Tesla quality plus whatever new lie he comes up with today.”

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