Dave Chappelle

Netflix has seen a decrease in its valuation over the past few years given the increased competition with other streaming companies. To build a bigger competitive moat Netflix tried to boast their viewership with owned programs like Squid Game and Dave Chappelle’s ‘The Closer’.

Despite the attempt to build a strong base of users with Dave Chappelle’s new show, many employees were aggravated and left their Netflix jobs because it was not woke. In addition, everyone in Asia cut ties with the company now that the rest of the world thinks that all Chinese People do is kill people like in Squid Game.

The CEO of Netflix Ted Sarandos said, “Content doesn’t directly translate to real-world harm, I couldn’t cancel Chappelle cause the dude is way to funny, and I’m not sure what the deal with Squid Game is, Chinese people freak me out. Dave Chappelle is the Greatest of All Time, I pissed myself laughing through that entire special. I don’t care what you people think, come at me bro.”

After the statement stock prices plummeted making it about as worthless at Mark Spiegel’s hedge fund. In addition, Ted Sarandos girlfriend left him, and he has been missing ever since and presumed dead.