Neuralink's Pig

BREAKING – In a surprising scientific break through in Neuralink’s technology, Gertrude the pig sent brainwaves to scientists telling them that Kayne West will win the election.  “I was super confused what I was reading at first,” Walton Smith, lead scientist at Neuralink stated.  “But when I figured out that Gertrude was saying Kayne West would win the election I immediately got on Predictit and dumped my life savings into Kayne West bets.”

In late August, Elon Musk revealed that a pig named Gertrude was given the first Neuralink chip.  According to Mashable, Gertrude had the chip for the past two months.

Late Friday afternoon, Elon Musk took the stage to update the world on Neuralink — his effort to link the human brain to computers — and to implore engineers, animal care professionals, and robotics experts to join him. At the heart of the demo was a pig by the name of Gertrude, which he claimed has been linked up to some form of Neuralink for the past two months. 

According to scientists, Gertrude the pig was only suppose to do boring scientific stuff that no on really cares about.  So when Gertrude’s brainwaves told scientists that Kayne West will win the election the science lab went ecstatic.

“Not even in a million years was I expecting Gertrude to tell us that Kayne West would win the election,” Kevin Myer, an employee at Neuralink stated.  “I sincerely thought this whole brain chip thing is stupid and dumb.  No way is anyone going to get a chip installed in their brain.”

When Gertrude told the scientists that Kayne West was going to win the election, they all celebrated by dumping out pensions in Predictit bets.

“I called my wife drunk and told her I was planning on buying 15 hookers with my winning bets,” Kevin Myer stated.  “She got so mad I had to sleep on the couch last night.”

 

 



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