Trevor Milton Releases 30-Page Research Report Claiming Hindenburg Drowns Kittens And Puts Ketchup On Steak

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Growing increasingly unhinged from the Hindenburg Research short attack, Trevor Milton released a 30-page research report claiming the famed short seller drowns kittens and puts ketchup on steak.

“I swear to God I’m not a fraud,” Milton said over fifty times while covering his mouth and looking away from the camera.  “I’m an innovator.  We have a picture of a car and a merch shop.  Did Theranos sell t-shirts?  Didn’t think so.”

To combat the Hindenburg short report on Nikola, Trevor Milton released his own 30-page research report.  The research report claims among many things that Hindenburg is an evil short seller known for driving 150 mph through school zones in a “lifted” diesel truck.

We have obtained our favorite snippets from the Milton report and complied them below:

  • The person running the Hindenburg account is an unstable 89 year-old man who wears depends and drinks prune juice.
  • We sent a private investigator to spy on Hindenburg.  The findings were disgusting.  This man eats his steak well done and even puts ketchup on it!
  • I’m 90% certain Hindenburg is the reason why COVID-19 exists.  You don’t want to trust this guy.
  • You know those Oregon fires? Hindenburg…
  • I’ve personally seen Hindenburg shove straws down sea turtles throats.
  • This guy drives through rural America to find kittens to drown!  Wow!
  • Did you know if you say Hindenburg really slow it sounds like “evil short seller.

In the last fifteen pages of the report, Trevor repeats he is not a fraud over and over, and even claims he has no idea what a hill is.  The report ends with a new drawing of a car.

The appendix of the report claims that Trevor’s great great grandfather was a passenger on the Hindenburg and he is distraught by this mean act.



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