Lil Uzi Vert

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS – NYSE Chicago CEO John Kerin has recently announced that NYSE Chicago will allow futures to be traded on rapper Lil Uzi Vert’s $24 million dollar forehead diamond hoping it’ll excite younger kids about learning finance.

“This decision was simple to make really, after a long conversation with Mr. Vert on the phone he agreed to allow us to have futures traded on his forehead diamond. We hope this will get kids to think about stocks, futures, etc. to have a bright fiscal future.”

In an interview to the Stonk Market, rapper Lil Uzi Vert had this to say, “This was an easy decision to be honest, I mean it increases the value of my diamond, my fans could make money off it, and it make them smarter, shit why not?”