OXY Gets Creative in Bid to Reduce Headcount

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After initially reducing all employee salaries across the board amid the continued plunge in oil prices and high debt-load from the heroic acquisition of Anadarko, Occidental Petroleum (“OXY”) has gotten creative in now attempting to reduce head-count and further reduce G&A.  While the recent initiative to offer a “give up your seat” type severance offering has been widely ridiculed, a new attempt is being met with open arms, especially by the stay-at-home public.

Vicki Hollub, CEO of OXY, appeared on David-Ramsen Woods’ podcast to discuss it yesterday.  “Very few employees took us up on our offer for detailing how many months pay they’d be willing to accept to resign voluntarily, assuming correctly that we were just trying to remove the non-committed.  So now, we have to take matters to the extreme, but we think the public will be on our side with this one.  Employees will now have to fight to the death in a Hunger Games-style competition in order to stay employed.  To ensure compliance and to incentivize the participants, each successful kill will transfer 25% of that individuals’ salary to the victor.  By splitting the workforce into groups of 10, we can remove 90% of the dead weight and ensure only the strongest and most committed to the vision move forward with our wonderful company.”

OXY formally announced that ESPN will host the trim-down during the slots usually reserved for Monday Night Football and Sunday Night Baseball.  Stay-at-home individuals and families were ecstatic at the prospect, given the lack of sports on television during the lockdown.  The competition will occur on a small island, which Hollub will patrol via kayak to ensure that no employees escape.  If successful, expect other shale CEO’s to follow suit.

Source of featured image: OXY Board

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