HOUSTON, TX – As details surface over Occidental Petroleum’s plan to reduce headcount and cut costs via their innovative Silent Auction style resignation program , a second internal email has emerged that sheds light on how departing employees will be compensated by the oil giant. In an email to the Occidental Compensation Committee, CEO Vicki Hollub proposed:
In lieu of cash compensation, employees can redeem their ‘compensation credits’ for any mix of the following:
- 4.2% 2048-03 Corporate Bond (Issued to Employee at Par Value).
- Donations, in the employees name, to any local Houston or Denver area charity.
- OXY $90 Call 1/15/21 Option Contracts.
- June 2020 WTI Futures Contracts (Storage arrangements obviously not included).
- Signed documents, by myself, of Occidental’s historic acquisition of Anadarko Petroleum (I can add inscriptions – for example #StillShePersisted or #EnergyLoudEnergyProud – for an additional compensation credit).
- Skip The Line!” TM. A Disneyland inspired program that lets the employee bypass long wait times in signing up for and accessing much needed government benefit programs.
- Anadarko Petroleum XXL T-Shirts from prior year United Way events that we have in storage.
Further, each employee will be given a ticket and entered into a raffle. 10 lucky winners will receive shares Occidental Petroleum Common Stock (once famously, and briefly, held by The Oracle of Omaha – Warren Buffet). The grand prize winner will get to wrap their hand in tape and stick it in a jar filled with a mix of $1’s, $5, $10, and even a $100 dollar bill! Wow!
All outstanding accrued time off can be abandoned or donated to Occidental, which will use the money to plant trees in its inspiring effort to become carbon neutral by 2026.
Let me know your thoughts!
This is a developing story. Please check back for further updates.
Written by Sardonic Observer