Vlad Tenev

Saying how the SEC is after him, a paranoid Vlad Tenev flushed 10,000 pages of payment order flow data down the corporate toilet.

Vlad Tenev, the CEO of the most hated company in the United States was reportedly seen sprinting back and forth from the office to the bathroom where he would flush important paper work down the corporate toilet while mumbling words about how those damn Robinhood traders screwed everything up.

After flushing over 10,000 pounds of paper work down the toilet Vlad then forced his secretary at gunpoint to delete all emails with the words “Citadel” mentioned in them.

“I mean we always delete the important payment order flow data on Thursdays, but I got seriously concerned when Vlad told the entire office to destroy the hard drives in their computers,” a secretary stated.

Later in the evening sources reported that Vlad was seen flying out of the country on a private plane to the same island Trevor Milton is hiding out on.