Robot Police Dog

NEW YORK, NY – Boston Dynamics’s “DigiDog” robotic police dog shot and killed a black family of three Monday during a routine jaywalking stop. The Hyundai subsidiary (OTCMKTS: HYMTF) made a public statement apologizing for the mishap, and that in the they believe the robot officer mistook its mounted gun for a squeaky toy. The family had started walking into the crosswalk despite the walk signal starting to blink, and the DigiDog moved towards them to warn them not to jaywalk. Tragically, instead of offering a squeaky warning, the robotic dog fired 10 bullets into the family before calling for backup.

“We deeply regret the mistake made by our robotic police officer,” said NYPD Chief Justin McMurtry. “I hope we can help our community grieve while also appreciating the excellent work that our remaining robotic police dogs have been doing to maintain law and order.”

The DigiDog remains on probation following the event, but over 100 similar models remain on the New York City streets. Boston Dynamics believes the incident was isolated and that leaving the remaining robot police dogs in service should not pose a threat to the community.

“Each of our DigiDogs, including the one involved in the shooting, go through rigorous programming to de-escalate incidents like this,” said Boston Dynamics spokesman Hugh Kantrun. “This rogue officer is not reflective of any systemic issue that would cause DigiDogs to needlessly resort to violence.”

When asked if similar actions had occurred with other DigiDogs in the past or if any statistics on robot police dog caused fatalities were available, the company refused to comment.

Not all community members were convinced that the robotic police dog was at fault for the event. Political commentator and human-demon hybrid Charlie Kirk stated that the DigiDog was just following its programming and should be commended for upholding the law.

“I watched the video, and you know what was clear to me?” said Kirk via twitter, “The family was breaking the law. If you don’t want to be shot, don’t start to Jaywalk!”

Regardless of public opinion, Boston Dynamics has committed to issuing an update to include unconscious bias training to each of their deployed units. As the victim’s family members mourn, many hope that this event will help shed light on robot police dog involved violence.