SEC Police
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Since the invention of the stock market, short sellers have been hated and ridiculed for exposing frauds and offering liquidity. And to make matters worse, the Securities Exchange Commission (“SEC”) is taking the next step in utilizing markets for political and legal purposes.

The latest announcement from the Trading and Markets Division states, any police officer found to have shorted a stock, will now be at risk for having their precinct get defunded.

The SEC will be asking States to defund those particular precincts

The Boston Police Department, founded in 1938, holds the title as the oldest police station in the USA. A spokesperson for the precinct said, “since we are so old its likely we have had an officer at one-point short sell an equity. This new law has major, negative implications.”

Jay Clayton, Chairman of the SEC stated, “Black Lives Matter (“BLM”) has exposed how police officers get away with all kinds of crap. We are taking the next step in using security laws to moderate real-life situations.”

BaFin, the German version of the SEC, has already stated that they support this move and will investigate replicating it for the German Market, and may even take it further. The irony is not lost on them due to the WireCard fraud.

Arbitragers believe they can get around this new law

An anonymous source tells The Stonk Market, “I will relinquish my uniform and join the accounting division of the precinct so I can continue to short sell, and maybe still not get in trouble when I commit a crime against a non-officer.