Like many Americans, Chadwick Jones bought Cumrocket. He was convinced it was going to go to the moon. Elon Musk, “super-genius” even tweeted “Cumrocket is going to be the currency when we colonize mars. If it isn’t I will change the name of my kid to something normal.” With no surprise Cumrocket was the dominating cryptocurrency, making it even more powerful than the Japanese Yen. Things were going well for this outstanding and reliable currency.

Little did the public know, the side effect of owning this powerful cryptocurrency is syphilis. Chadwick first assumed that he was contracted syphilis from the many babes he smashed daily.

Musk then retracted his statement months later when a syphilis outbreak in the United States began to surge. The superstar billionaire then tweeted how Cumrocket has left him riddled with the STD and has begun to affect his personal life. Chadwick told the media that he then became convinced that this cryptocurrency is the reason why genitals look like Hunter Biden after crack cocaine binge and not because of the many babes that he smashes on the reg.