Somalian Pirates

As the Suez Canal remains blocked leaving hundreds of barges stuck at sea, many in dangerous waters such like the Gulf of Aden, Somalian Pirates have declared that they will take the high ground this time.

One Warlord said this, “I just can’t in good faith take this plunder. These people are stranded it is like trapping an animal and killing it. I don’t believe that it’s fair to the crew.”

Normally a pirate will sail up and capture the barge while it is sailing, but now that they are stuck these pirates think it takes away from the sport of the game.

Many world leaders were relieved that these pirates were going to put a halt to capturing sailors and holding them and their cargo for ransom. While this was happening, others were upset.

Some government officials in the failed state expressed concern that this could’ve been a boom to the struggling economy.

The chief executive of corruption said, ‘These idiots were handed a gift from God and now they are going to take the high ground. An opportunity like this could’ve put millions of dollars into the economy.” He later said that he was going to buy a Ferrari with the loot from this crisis.

There is an estimated 10% of the worlds international economy halted by the barge stuck at the canal.

Later the pirates said they plan to resume business next week after traffic return to normal. This news relieved crews currently sitting still. They expressed thanks to the pirates by dumping illegal waste into the waters.

The captain of one ship said, “If they aren’t going to rob us, we might as well take advantage of it.” This frustrated some pirates who use the illegal dumping to justify their international crimes but claim to hold true to their promise.

Today one backhoe was spotted digging out the barge.