Stan The Trading Man

Sweating like a pig in the Texas Heat, Stan The Trading Man stated, “It’s all a big misunderstanding, I was referring to the hole between my teeth.”

Last night Stan The Trading Man was blasted on Twitter after sending crude messages to a few female traders.  View the messages here and here.  The tweets went viral almost immediately and Stan’s social media presence disappeared.

After coming to his senses, Stan The Trading Man made a public statement how it was all a big misunderstanding.

“No hole untouched referred to the gap between my teeth,” Stan stated.  “The girl I lived with was a dentist and she helped floss my teeth.  That huge gap you see in my front teeth, well that was what I was referring too.”

Stan also mentioned the drenched in sweat comment was in reference to all of the put options he held on the S&P 500.  “I held millions in put options on the S&P 500.  With the market making all time highs everyday I would come out of the room drenched in sweat because I was so stressed.”

Finally, Stan said how the rest of the crude language was due to his iPhone’s auto correct.  “I meant to say doing a ton of hardcore shot’s with duck’s!  Who doesn’t drink with their pet ducks?”

Stan The Trading Man is now asking for your forgiveness.  “I’m really not a disgusting sweaty pig,” Stan stated.  “I’m a good Christian boy and want to continue teaching young women my hole trading, I mean stock trading strategy.”