Brooks Brothers, McCloskey

The viral video of Mark and Patricia McCloskey greeting protesters with guns is not what is appears.  Apparently, struggling Brooks Brothers, the oldest men’s clothing store, staged the video as a PR stunt to boost sales and brand awareness.

“Our sales have skyrocketed,” Claudio Del Vecchio, CEO said in an internal memo to employees.  “The PR stunt worked.  Millions of affluent white folks have seen the viral video.  Our brand awareness is already trending upwards.”

Brooks Brothers is the oldest men’s clothing store in the United States.  Founded in 1818 as a family business, Brooks is now owned by billionaire Claudio del Vecchio.

“We are now the most popular brand in the 45-65 year-old affluent category,” a spokesman for Brooks Brothers stated.  “Pink shirts, khaki pants and brown leather belts have been flying off the shelves.  Casual business-wear is back in style.”

An insider with Brooks Brothers stated the next step for the once struggling retail store is a re-branding.  “We plan to take advantage of the situation and re-brand ourselves.  This is the biggest opportunity we have had in two centuries.”

Here is a list of potential new store names:

  • Ken and Karen Clothing
  • Saving Private Property
  • Get Off My Lawn
  • I Just Wanted To Grill
  • Suburban Commando