restaurant industry

Gov. Andrew Cuomo is entrenched the most tumultuous time of his three terms in office. Between his ongoing mismanagement of the COVID-19 crisis and the slew of women, some of them current or former state employees, who have accused him of sexual harassment or other inappropriate behavior—Cuomo’s future in politics is in serious jeopardy.

As a result, his approval rating in all of New York State is at an all-time low of 38 percent, according to a recent poll by Emerson College and News Nation.

The Cuomo administration is however, nothing if not savvy—and it seems that they have developed a new strategy to help get that rating up—and maybe even stave off impeachment.

The idea came from a mid-level staffer, who proposed that every time a new allegation comes out that Cuomo was getting handsy with the help, he eliminated one COVID-19 restriction. The administrations statistics team then developed a formula to guide Cuomo on how stringent the restriction he ends must be depending on how creepy his transgressions were.

For example, if it was strictly verbal harassment—all he needs to do is increase the percentage of capacity allowed in a restaurant. But if he was getting a little too close for comfort, maybe springing for the occasional hand to ass grazing, then he needs loosen mask mandates, at least slightly.

Now, all New Yorkers who have grown tired of COVID living need to do is wait—because it is just a matter of time until an allegation comes out that is so heinous he makes New York the Florida of the Northeast.