Kohl's Cash

Consistently disrupting the stock market, Elon Musk, the CEO of Tesla, was reported to have invested $1.5 billion of Tesla’s cash into Kohl’s Cash.

“In an attempt to provide more flexibility and maximize our returns on cash we have decided to invest $1.5 billion in Kohl’s Cash under our new investment policy,” Elon said in an 8-K filed this morning. “Moreover, we expect to begin accepting Kohl’s Cash as a form of payment for our products in the near future.”

Kohl’s Cash, hailed as the original cryptocurrency has rocketed up 10% in pre-market trading on the news that Tesla has invested $1.5 billion into the currency. Mothers across the Midwest cheered as their long-term holdings will now able them to purchase even more discounted clothes.