Notorious money printer Jerome Powell recently suggested the US should switch to the crypto standard.
Early reports indicate that once Powell found out cryptocurrencies can fall by over 50% in a matter of seconds, he realized printing money is relatively inefficient to inflate money.
Powell claims, “physically printing money takes too long and too much bureaucracy is involved in building more printers. If I could just push a button or ask nerds to program a few more zeros into the system, I could make the USD worthless in real-time.”
In other news I gave into the drinking last night and got incredibly wasted. I was last seen pounding a bottle of Mohawk vodka while flying down the intersection of a school zone.