Thousands quit Twitter as new rule is enforced


Twitter – Thousands of Twitter accounts have logged off the social media platform indefinitely as a new rule is now being enforced.  According to a recent Bloomberg article Twitter is now implementing a zero tolerance policy around using swear words.  “All we are asking is that Twitter users watch their language before sending a tweet,” a spokesman for Twitter stated. 

The new rule is a complete change in direction this once free speech platform once stood for.  “Look,” a Twitter spokesman went on.  “We still give our users the ability to practice free speech.  However, if we catch you swearing, we will report you to the cyber police.”

Since the new zero tolerance swearing policy was implemented this morning, hundreds of thousands Twitter accounts have logged off the social media platform indefinitely.

“I have no reason to be on the platform anymore,” John Lewis, 35, stated.  “What use is Twitter if I can tell a politician or my ex-girlfriend to F off?

The Financial industry on Twitter, known as FinTwit, has taken this new rule especially hard.  “If I can’t publicly bash a company for missing its earnings by a half-a-cent I don’t know what I am going to do,” Andrew Williams, of Williams Capital Management stated. 

Rumors have it Twitter is planning to lay additional rule to its “free speech” platform in the coming weeks.  Here is a list of new rules that Twitter plans to implement:

  • All Zero Hedge articles will be blacklisted and anyone posting Zero Hedge articles will be banned
  • Any Tweet that favors the political party Jack Dorsey doesn’t support will be deleted
  • Anything posted from a social media site that is not Twitter will be banned
  • Kyle Bass will be removed indefinitely
  • White privileged males will be watched by an army of cyber police
  • Everyone will receive a ‘blue check mark’ so people don’t feel left out

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