Tibetan monk breaks vow of silence after 93 years, tells Ryan Sitton to shut up about economic waste


Co-Authored by Richard Landenstein and Halli Burton

Lhasa, Tibet – “Economic waste is not a thing, Ryan Sitton, and you need to shut up about it,” exclaimed Skal Bzang, a 102-year-old Tibetan monk. Bzang had taken a vow of silence in 1927, at the age of 9. He broke his vow on April 14th, 2020, after hearing the questions asked by Texas Railroad Commissioner Ryan Sitton at an extraordinary meeting of the Railroad Commission.

Sitton recently came to prominence in an attempt to unite Texas with OPEC+ in an unprecedented oil production agreement after a once-in-a-century oil price crash caused in part by the outbreak of COVID-19. Sitton’s strategy involved resurrecting a Great Depression-era law that enabled Texas to impose quotas on its oil production, a power not utilized since the early 1970s.

To achieve his goal, Sitton needed to convince his two fellow Commissioners that producing oil today constituted “economic waste.” At the ten-hour meeting, Sitton questioned at least forty witnesses in an attempt to determine the meaning of the term “economic waste,” to no avail. Bzang weighed in: “Ryan Sitton kept trying to make ‘economic waste’ a thing, and it’s not a thing. It’s not ever going to be a thing. I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

When asked how Bzang learned of Sitton’s obsession with economic waste, he replied: “I spent all my life devoting at least 17 hours a day to silence and meditation. In the process I discovered Energy Fintwit,” referring to Energy Financial Twitter. “That’s where I realized how ridiculous the idea of ‘economic waste’ was. Economic waste is a term bureaucrats invented in the 1930s to justify whatever horrible ideas they wanted to implement at the time.”

“You know what? Speaking out is a refreshing change after all these years,” Bzang added. “Sometimes you have to talk to find real peace, even if it means breaking a nine decade vow of silence. I don’t regret it one bit.” Bzang smiled. “I’m worried if I don’t continue to speak out about stupid stuff like ‘economic waste,’ the world will go to hell in a handbasket.”

The Stonk Market reached out to Commissioner Sitton for comment, but he was unable to unmute his microphone.

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