Trump Declares Oil Price $40 a Barrel


In what appears to be an unprecedented move, Trump issued an Executive Order at 2 AM this morning via Twitter. In his Tweet he officially decreed that the price of oil will now be $40 a barrel for “as long as it needs to be.” He went on to say “$40 seems about right. We need to support the American oil producer who has been hurt very badly by the China virus. Very badly. Very unfair what’s happened to this great industry.”

In a series of Tweets known as a “thread” he went on to make several other proclamations. This included to set the rate of inflation in the United States at “about 4%” and the unemployment rate “at effectively zero.”

He instructed his press secretary, “Caitlin McMan (sic)” to have a press conference to address any questions concerning this issue and to “wear that pretty pink outfit with the tassels.”

He concluded his Tweets by blaming Democrats for these issues that he now is fixing and that he expects them to “fight him very hard and very unfairly on these issues.”

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