Donald Trump declared victory on Twitter two hours before the polls closed, then subsequently deleted the tweet. The tweet was as follows:
“VICTORY! MAGA 2024!”
Millions of young Biden supporters took to America’s city streets to burn, loot and pillage struggling business owners. A struggling Macy’s was burned down on Fifth Avenue by a group lead by Bill Ackman. Ackman has been a known short seller in Macy’s, recently leading groups of rioters to pillage his retail shorts.
To curb the violence Trump later tweeted:
“Whoops. Sorry guys. How about some Ivanka feet pictures?”
In other news, thousands of voters across the country stated they saw Jeffrey Epstein voting in the polls. An 87 year old grandmother even said Epstein brought her coffee and doughnuts and was a nice man. She later posted his picture to Twitter with an “I Voted” sticker taped to his shirt.