Trump: ‘I have done more for free markets than Adam Smith’


Washington, D.C.  – In Trump’s response to Twitter troll, @freemarketsaredead, Trump lashed out saying, “I have done more for free markets than Adam Smith.”  Trump went further say how he saved the stock market through a printing machine that goes brrrr and everyone’s 409Ks are protected.

“I have single handily done more for free markets than Adam Smith, the author of Wealth of Nations has ever done.  I mean, look at my hands.  They are huge.  You can’t even see the free market hand Adam Smith talked about in his book.  Plus, Adam Smith is dead.  I’m out here protecting our 409Ks from market gyrations.  Yesterday was the biggest up day in the market yet!”

Trump did admit that Adam Smith has done some things for free markets in the past – but not much.  “409Ks didn’t even exist when Adam Smith was around,” Trump stated.  “How many dollars has Adam Smith printed?  Adam Smith hasn’t even bailed out an entire industry.”

Furthermore, Trump stated how he saved the free markets from the not so visible hand of socialism.  “Look, everyone wants free money. Me, me, me.  I stopped that.  The only people who get free money are our precious corporations.  I saved capitalism.  What has Adam Smith ever done for capitalism?  Write a dumb book?  What a loser.”

Trump said if markets finish up for the year he will get money machine go brrr tattooed on his forehead.

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