Washington – “We are officially changing the definition of a recession to eight quarters of negative GDP growth,” President Trump said in an early morning conference call. “Two quarters of negative GDP growth, or the prior definition of a recession, is opaque, unclear and just plain wrong. A real recession last longer than two quarters and should be eight.” President Trump went to further state how the Federal Government is willing to continue changing the definition of a recession up to 12 quarters of negative GDP growth and beyond. “Under my Presidency, we will never have a recession. I am willing to change the definition of a recession as many times as needed until we have positive GDP growth.” Stocks rallied on the news that the United States will likely never enter a recession ever again.
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