Washington – Great news! The Federal Government has decided that each U.S. Citizen will get an additional $5 dollars in bailout money. “We have printed too much money,” Jerome Powell stated at a benefit lunch. “There is only so much money we can allocate to corporations. We have decided to give the surplus back to our valuable citizens.” The extra $5 dollars per citizen is a noble act of kindness. “I have so many plans on how I’m going to spend my additional $5 dollars,” single mom Holly, 34, says. “I will literally be able to pay 1/500th of my rent with this money. It will go so far.” The Federal Government has been on a spending spree this month. Money printing machines have gone BRRRRR all across the country. The additional $5 dollars every citizen will receive is excess money the Government accidently printed. “Sometimes we go a little crazy with the money printing,” J-Powell said with a devilish smirk on his face. The additional $5 dollars in bailout money is expected to reach your mailbox by September 2022.
