Washington, D.C. – The USPS has been unprofitable for the last decade, losing over $2B annually.  But today Postmaster General Louis DeJoy announced plans to use the USPS fleet to deliver for Uber Eats and Door Dash in an attempt to reduce the ongoing deficit.

“Yeah, we got all these vans just sitting around a lot of the time, might as well put a few extra bucks in the bank”, said DeJoy. This strategy gives the USPS flexibility to manage its finances and fleet, without any long term contract.

Once the pandemic dies down, DeJoy plans on using the fleet for passenger transportation as well. “Our drivers are real personable, like meeting and conversing with people, so why not, ya know?” stated DeJoy.

The USPS is working with the White House to change rules regarding passenger safety, so that travelers can sit in the back with the packages, an idea President Trump is said to support.

Reported by: Billy McFarlend