Value Investors

If you’re American you understand the conundrum.  Should I be a woman and eat boneless chicken so I don’t have to reapply my makeup and worry about sauce stains on my blouse? Or, should I man up, realize that there is only bone in wings and glorified chicken nuggets, and use my hands on bone in wings like a self respecting, successful day trader would.  Eating these with a fork is only acceptable in Europe, as in America we are descended from metal workers and ranchers, and getting sauce on your fingers is a right of passage.

Value investors are the nerds of the market.  Their decisions are based on long hours of DCF models and P/E ratios.  Spending days staring at balance sheets, and cleaning Mt Dew off their glasses.  There is no WAP grabbing, fun having, dirty investments made, and a recent study by The Stonk Market shows that value investors proudly eat boneless chicken wings while others look on in disgust.  Other results concluded that value investors cut their hamburgers in half, eat ribs with a fork, don’t like pineapple on pizza and on average take their coffee with four cream and four sugars.

Don’t be a value investor.  Grab your sack, put a picture of Warren Buffett in your toilet bowl, get your hands dirty when eating bone in wings, and day trade like any self respecting, high T individual would.  Or stay poor, low T, and get evicted by wealthy landowners such as Eloise Williams and Jon W.B. Rich.