Washington D.C.

House Democrats made noise in Washington on Monday with their latest push to grant statehood to Washington, D.C., establishing a House panel to make the case that D.C. statehood should be at the center of the party’s voting rights agenda.

The core argument is that the District of Columbia and its more than 700,000 tax paying residents needed federal representation—and thus far, the panel has made a compelling case, citing the city’s bureaucratic issues, like during the Capitol Riots when the D.C. Mayor was powerless to call in the National Guard, whereas a Governor would have had the power to.

Not everyone is onboard with the D.C. statehood. Including Kent Bauer, a 4th generation land owner in Mississippi, who started a Facebook Group: “D.C. – District of Cunts, not a State” whose sole mission is to “Fuck the Dems in the streets.”

I shared more than a few fingers of Jim Beam with Bauer on the family compound just outside of Jackson, where the Bauers have resided since the late 1800s when Kent’s great grandfather parlayed his father’s cotton fortune into a successful grocery business. The assets of the business have sustained the family ever since.

Kent, however, was more than hospitable, informing me I could stay as long as I pleased, “So long as I wasn’t a goddamned Democrat.”

I assured him that as a journalist I have zero party affiliation and as a realist turned cynic, I hate everyone equally.

After a couple of hours of drinking and talking, Kent admitted he wasn’t exactly sure why D.C. didn’t deserve to be a state “on paper,” but that it didn’t much matter to him, so long as he owned the Dems, a passion he discovered after a 16 hour YouTube binge.

Around 9 pm I left the premise with an ironclad feeling of doom regarding the state of mankind.