WALL STREET – Acting in a distraught manner, a Wedbush analyst frantically upgraded his Tesla price target to $2,500 as the stock crushed the previous target in a matter of minutes. “I didn’t know what to do,” Calvin Adams, the Tesla analyst at Wedbush stated. “So I just upgraded the stock another $500 bucks.”
Traditionally, analysts put price targets on stocks based on an internal valuation that reflects a rate of return or loss relative to the current valuation. This in turn makes the stock a buy, hold or sell. With the current state of the market, the traditional approach to price targets has been thrown in the trash.
“Every time Tesla breaks my price target I just raise the price target another $500 bucks,” Calvin said. “There is no rhyme or reason behind the price target anymore. Just like there isn’t a rhyme or reason behind the valuation.”
J.P. Morgan followed suite and upgraded their Tesla price target to $3,000 per share citing “Robinhood idiots as the reason for the upgrade”. Deuthsche Bank increased their price target to $10,000 per share. And Ark Invest upgraded their price target to infinity.
“I’m highly certain the S&P 500 will be merged into Tesla in the coming months,” Calvin stated. “This is the next catalyst bulls are hoping for.”
In other news, all TSLAQ members are now dead.