It seems like it was only a few minutes ago that GameStop was rocketing close to $500 per share. The good ole days when you could buy call options in the morning and be a millionaire by lunch. But the wine and roses are through. GameStop is at $70 and heading to zero next. So where are all of the idiots who bought GameStop at $480 per share? We did some deep research and found out.
They are living in their mom’s basement
25% of the people who bought GameStop at $480 per share are now living in their mom’s basement and trolling members of the proud boys on twitter. But according to McKinsey, 90% of these idiots were already living in their mom’s basement to start with.
They are bagholding a worthless security about to become even more worthless
Another portion of the idiots who bought GameStop at $480 are bagholding a worthless security they think will get short squeezed again. Well let me tell you bucko. This security is worth either $10 bucks per share or zero per share.
They are bagging groceries at the local Publix with William Karaman
A large portion of the people who bought GameStop near the top are still working their minimum wage job at the local Publix. 47% of these individuals have become religious Alex Jones listeners.
They have joined Qanon
80% of the people who bought GameStop at $480 have joined Qanon as a way to cope with the devastating losses. These people now frequent anti-Biden rallies and generally believe that Michelle Obama is a man named Michael.
They have dumped the rest of their net worth in a very stable currency called Dogecoin
The rest of the people who bought GameStop at $480 have dumped the rest of their net worth in a very stable digital currency with a cute dog on it.