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Where Are They Now? All The Long Only Energy Investors Who Blew Their Fund Up

energy investors

It seems like it was only a few minutes ago that the long only energy investors were talking about $100 dollar oil.  The days of 2014 when you thought it was just a “Saudi” supply problem.  I remember when one long only energy investor cough Eric cough nut something cough was saying how $100 dollar per barrel oil was right around the corner.  WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?  Oil is only $40 something per barrel and in the middle of a pandemic no one is travelling.  Where are they now?

They are bag holding stocks that are down 70-90%

90% of the guys who are still in the game are bag holding stocks that are down 70-90%.  That is if they didn’t go all in on an over levered MLP or E&P crapshow.  Did someone say Brad Holly?

They are hiding in South America from their investors

It’s a good chance half of the long only energy investors are hiding in South America from their investors.  All of these guys lost so valuable capital in a short period of time.  And pissed off hoards of wealthy people.  Now it’s likely they are getting their backed rubbed by a hot Latino while you sit at home and stare at your wife that looks like a garbage truck.

They are on the board of directors of 15 public companies

These guys are the absolute worst.  They will spend 20 years of their career destroying capital faster than Berlin in 1943 then have the audacity to be on the compensation committee of 15 public companies.  Oh and did I mention they pull in $100,000 per year for each board seat they have?

They launched a new fund in ESG

After investing billions into E&P companies that had no way to service their debt and losing it all, these guy decided to launch an ESG fund.  Environmental, social and governance, PUKE.  These guys don’t give a crap about ESG.  They don’t care if women get paid less than men.  They don’t care about trees or turtles.  And they definitely don’t care about governance or they wouldn’t have dumped all of their investors money into Master Limited Partnerships.  These losers just care about money and ESG is the hot new strategy to raise a few billion.  Your the sucker, not them.

They are dead, drunk and on the street

These are the guys who lost billions in capital and realized they have no real skill in the outside world.  They have become a walking zombie.  Wake up and slam a bottle of Vodka.  Pop a dozen pills every morning to make it out of the bed.  Crawl to the liquor cabinet and pass out in your own puke.  Complete losers who know nothing beside how to calculate the decline rate in a shale well.