Fyre Fest

The year 2020 has been…difficult, to say the least. Many have described the last 8 months  as a “non-stop Fyre Fest“. Although it’s hurtful seeing the name of my beautiful brain child become a synonym for a bad time, I see this as a MASSIVE opportunity to redeem myself for the mistakes of my past and a way to line the pockets of my future investors (DM’s are open). “How?”, you may ask. Simple – Fyre Fest 2.

The list of horrible things that have happened in 2020 seems to grow by the day. Between Covid-19, social unrest, and Will Meade blocking me on Twitter, it’s been tough year for all of us.

The sequence of events over the past 8 months has created the optimal environment for Fyre Fest 2, and here’s why.

  1. Outdoor venue – fresh air and a warm climate means you can’t catch covid, that’s just science.
  2. Cheap air travel – you can buy a flight from anywhere in the world to the Bahamas for under $12.
  3. Island for sale – the Fyre Fest island is for currently for sale. I will book a showing with the realtor and invite all Fyre Fest 2 attendees. Free.
  4. We can pitch it as a real life Netflix experience – people will pay for the opportunity to be in the next big Netflix documentary. Not to mention the $$ we’ll make selling content to all the big streaming services.
  5. We’re the only game in town – all other events have been cancelled so there is absolutely no competition.
  6. Stimulus checks on the way – we will start selling tickets the same day stimulus checks are sent out and provide a discount for those using government money.
  7. PPP loans – I will secure an interest free PPP loan from the government to finance the project with absolutely no recourse to anyone.
  8. My WFP situation – Working from home, or in my case working from prison, has its benefits. Being locked in a room for 23/24 hours in the day is highly conducive to event planning. No detail will be left un-scrutinized.
  9. Ja Rule- need I say more?
  10. This time we won’t serve food – If we don’t serve food, no one will poop, and there will be no need for plumbing. Boom, cost savings.
  11. Teenagers have never been dumber – I’m fairly certain they are unaware of the pandemics existence.

Fyre Fest 2 will blow the original out of the water. Here’s to living like movie stars, partying like rock stars, and defrauding all customers and investors having fun.