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Window manufacturer sees surge in demand as Wall Street bankers jump from high rises

Man jumping from window
Source: Shortlist (https://www.shortlist.com/news/how-to-jump-from-a-first-floor-window-and-survive)

Des Moines – Despite the constant drawdown in equity valuations, one company is making record profits.  Window Manufacturers of America, an American made company specializing in selling windows, located in Des Moines, Iowa is breaking new revenue targets every day.  “I have never seen this kind of demand in my entire tenure with the company,” CEO Brian Target stated.  “We have been running our factory on all cylinders.”  Window Manufactures of America recently opened a third shift and is hiring for 250 new jobs.  “The demand for our product is unprecedented.”  Brian Target said demand for new windows is coming directly from Wall Street.  “With the stock market making new lows seemingly every day, there has been a huge increase in the amount of Wall Street bankers jumping out of windows. I have never seen anything like it.”  Brian has already scooped out a new factory location in lower Manhattan. The new location will serve the growing demand for new windows in corporate Wall Street towers.  “It’s cynical, but I hope the stock market goes down 10% per day for the next ten years,” Brian states.  In other news, it is rumored Adam Neumann is launching “WeWipe” the solution to America’s toilet paper shortage.

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