Winklevoss

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – On an otherwise uneventful day in the markets, Bitcoin stole the show as it eclipsed $20,000 for the first time in its existence. To celebrate the big news, the Winklevoss Twins, who let a scrawny Jewish kid overpower them and steal their Facebook idea, announced the upcoming event that will be held Christmas Eve. “The $20k energy has been visibly palpable, and we could think of no better way to release that energy for all those that have been holding on for dear life than a sex orgy”

Cryptocurrency fans, such as OracleOfCrypto8376109 on Twitter, have already RSVP’d by the hundreds. The user, whose real name is Oliver Stevenson and is a Best Buy associate in the gaming department can’t wait to be in close proximity with his fellow HODLers. Oliver’s holdings of 0.04167772 bitcoins is currently valued at $886 as of this writing.

“Next stop $30,000” Oliver shouted, which would put his holdings worth right around $1,300, which is ironically close to the $1,200 he was not eligible for earlier in the year since he was still listed as a dependent on his parents tax return.  Asked if he was worried about the 175:1 guy to girl ratio for the event, Oliver said “WHO CARES, WE’RE RICH”.

The twins also plan on setting up side events, like the BDSM booth where users can reenact buying a pepperoni pizza for 10,000 bitcoins, like one infamous internet user did a decade prior.  Also present will be a Virtual Reality machine where they can role play as John McAfee cutting off his own dick since the coin will likely not reach his $1,000,000 prediction by the end of 2020.