Chief Keef

WASHINGTON – Janet Yellen recently announced in an interview with CNBC she will be resigning as treasury secretary effective immediately after coming down with COVID-19. She stated “While my tenure with the Biden administration was short lived it was one of the greatest honors of my life.”

Press Secretary Psaki when asked if President Biden had any replacements in mind already, she stated “We were actually made aware of her diagnosis around 48 hours ago, and a replacement was already selected.

While Secretary Yellen was a progressive candidate in herself, President Biden has chosen someone he believes will not only be the most progressive Treasury Secretary yet, but one to also get young people excited. She said.

“President Biden has tapped American icon, rapper, singer songwriter, Chief Keef to be the next Treasury Secretary.” She added. “As fans of Mr. Keef would know, he is very good with money, whether is making it, distributing it, now he will help dictate financial policy in this country.”

In a statement released by Chief Keef he said. “On gang this one of the greatest honors of my life, money is nothin new to me and now as Treasury Secretary imma put on for my people so we can all get rich for real.” he said. “President Biden has been very kind to me even willing to accommodate my requests for compensation, I told the boy instead of given me cash cause I got too much, just pay me wit Wockhardt brand Codeine-Promethazine cough syrup.” he added.

“They even worked out a whole deal wit Wockhardt to get bottles of drank made jus for me, I already got my first shipment, they cashed out for real.” he added. “Once I’m confirmed I’m hopin to get these stimmy’s going, make short selling illegal cause that shit whack, and to make sure my opps stay broke.”