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Florida Man Desperately Tries To Support Bitcoin By Frantically Tweeting About...
Miami - Local Florida man, Anthony Pompliano, was seen frantically tweeting about bitcoin and how great it was for the free world this afternoon....
President Joe Biden Announces Americans Not Vaccinated Before 2022 Will Be...
President Joe Biden announced his latest effort to stop the spread of COVID-19, he will be putting Americans who have chosen to not be...
Man Waking Up Spends Few Minutes Relaxing In Bed Before Remembering...
Laying in bed daydreaming about how good his life could have been if he had not bought bitcoin at $60,000, local man, John Kyle,...
Racist Morgan Stanley Tells All Straight White Males To Fuck Off
Morgan Stanley (she/her) recently told all straight white males that they need not apply to any positions at their firm and to "fuck off".
In...
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Florida Man Desperately Tries To Support Bitcoin By Frantically Tweeting About It
Miami - Local Florida man, Anthony Pompliano, was seen frantically tweeting about bitcoin and how great it was for the free world this afternoon....
President Joe Biden Announces Americans Not Vaccinated Before 2022 Will Be Put In Camps
President Joe Biden announced his latest effort to stop the spread of COVID-19, he will be putting Americans who have chosen to not be...
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INVESTING
BlackRock celebrates LGBTQ+ pride month by increasing single-family home rents 30%
NEW YORK, NY – The world’s largest asset manager announced support for the LGTBQ+ equality movement Thursday by ratcheting up rent an average of...
Saudi Prince plates Lamborghini Huracán in ½ inch plywood in brazen...
RIYADH, Saudi Arabia – Saudi prince Abdullah bin Rajah flaunted the latest symbol of the Saudi royal family’s wealth Monday revealing a 2022 Lamborghini...
MACROECONOMICS
OPINOIN
STOCKS
Recently Divorced Man Says His Options Aren’t Looking Good, And Will...
JACKSONVILLE — Anthony Rizzo sat pensively at his office window, an unblinking stare plastered across his face. His wife, Melissa, had filed for divorce...
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Stock Tips On Big Tits Of The Day – Ashe
The Stonk Market's local investment professional, Ashe here with an explosive interview. Follower her on Twitter where she drops wonderful investment bombs and on OnlyFans...
POLITICS
Disneyland to add homeless tent city to California Adventure Park
ANAHEIM, CA – Disneyland Resorts announced the latest addition to their California Adventure Park Wednesday. “Skid Row Land” promises to complete the California experience...
California Middle School Textbooks Set To Depict George Washington as Black...
California Governor Gavin Newsom has announced middle school text history textbooks in California will now depict George Washington as a black man. “Our founding...
REAL NEWS
REAL STATE
BlackRock celebrates LGBTQ+ pride month by increasing single-family home rents 30%
NEW YORK, NY – The world’s largest asset manager announced support for the LGTBQ+ equality movement Thursday by ratcheting up rent an average of...
ENERGY
Rising Gas Prices Decried As “Racist, Classist, Sexist, Capitalist Evil”
Gas prices have risen dramatically in the last 2 months. Everyone is feeling the pain of pump prices. Blue checks on twitter, often considered the most educated and knowledgeable people in the country, have...
Continental Resources launches SPAC to purchase the state of North Dakota
BISMARK, N.D. – Petroleum and natural gas producer Continental Resources (NYSE: CLR) announced the formation their newest venture, DRILL, a Special Purpose Acquisition Company with the stated goal of acquiring the entire state of...
Hunter Biden Uses Department Of Energy Funds To Pay Gambling Debts, Texas Freezes
A source that has requested to remain anonymous has informed The Stonk Market that Hunter Biden has diverted $450 Million from the department of energy to repay various gambling debts. Hunter, an avid badminton...
FICTION
If you get a text from this number never respond to it!
If you get a text from this number (1-737-217-6397) don’t ever respond to it. I am begging you don’t respond to it! Delete it...
A Warm Introduction to Patrick
I wake up every morning with a stiff one. Rock hard. Solid. The room is usually cold. I like it brisk in my penthouse.
My...
Alternative Ending to the Original Pokémon Games – Blue’s Suicide
Source of feature image: Amino Apps
We all know that theory in the Red and Blue Pokémon games where Blue’s Raticate dies.
It goes as follows:
Red...
The Pokémon Episode that gave kids Seizures: The dark secrets of what really happened
On December 16th, 1997, DennÅ Senshi Porygon, more commonly referred to as Cyber Solider Porygon, was broadcasted in Japan. The episode was infamous for...
The Deformed Man
I was in my last year of law school working as a paralegal. I worked in Downtown Chicago. Right in the Loop at a...
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