A new study done by the Institute of Dawnville says that girls who wear yoga pants are more likely to be trashy and tend to eat cold SpaghettiOs. The study was done by five respected post-doctorates who study women behavior.
The post-docs spent countless hours observing women in yoga pants. “It was pure perverted”, one post-doc told us. The post-doc said he stared at ass eight hours a day. “By the end of the study I was tired of looking at ass”, exclaimed the post-doc. “But one thing was clear, women who wear yoga pants are trashy and definitely the demand for the canned SpaghettiOs market”.
Post-doc Richardson really got into the study. According to Richardson, he spent half of his time in places like Starbucks, Lululemon and other trendy hipster going areas hitting on yoga pant wearing trash.
“It was remarkably easy to pick these trashy yoga pant wearing sluts up”, exclaimed Richardson. “All I had to do was flash a few dollars or pull out a pack of Newports and it was almost guaranteed I was getting laid that night”.
But once back at the yoga pant wearing whore’s trailer, the turn-on for Richardson disappeared.
“It was like walking into a landfill”, Richardson said wide-eyed. “You got these beautiful chicks showing off their nice asses in yoga pants. Some look classy, others well, meh, not so much. But even the classy, tight assed looking ones were pure trash bags. If you don’t believe me, pick one up at a Starbucks and go back home with them. Oh yeah, you’ll get your dick sucked for sure, but on a pile of half eaten SpaghettiOs and with a pussy that smells like stale cigarettes soaked in Flint, Michigan water”.