By Penelope D. Monet

According to top stock market technicians, Blaring Company stock completed the middle finger chart formation in January, around the time of the departure of CEO Danny Mason. “Anyone who was paying attention to the chart signals would have seen this decline,” says a leading stock technician on Twitter, “Whenever the middle finger shows up in charts, it’s bad for the whole market, not just that one ticker.”

Anyone who was paying attention to the giant middle finger in Blaring stock would have been bearish on the whole market, and would be a billionaire by now. In fact, it’s why the hedge funds who have not blown up are still alive, given current market volatility. “We saw Mason give the market the finger, and we prepared for the downfall,” says one hedge fund manager, “Really, this market downturn doesn’t have much to do with coronavirus or the drop in oil prices. It’s all a giant blaring “Fuck You” from Blaring Co, to us.”

Blaring Company’s new CEO will now have to deal with the stock price down more than $200 per share from the nail of the middle finger. He has not yet stated his plans for a turnaround. Dan Mason is too busy sipping mai tais on a beach in Bermuda and could not be reached for comment.

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